


Old Hat

by AgentStannerShipper



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Future Fic, M/M, eggsy is basically the exasperated son they never had, old married merlahad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:00:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21947737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentStannerShipper/pseuds/AgentStannerShipper
Summary: Merlin and Harry both blink at him from across the table, and Eggsy swears this used to be funny. It’s not funny anymore.Well. Maybe it’s a little funny.
Relationships: Harry Hart | Galahad/Merlin
Comments: 10
Kudos: 128
Collections: 2019 Kingsman Stocking Stuffers





	Old Hat

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Eggsyobsessed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eggsyobsessed/gifts).



> For eggsyobsessed, because I saw a prompt about old married merlahad causing chaos, and I just couldn't resist. Hope you like it, because writing it was a blast!
> 
> In other news, I still can't title for shit.

Merlin and Harry both blink at him from across the table, and Eggsy swears this used to be funny. It’s not funny anymore.

Well. Maybe it’s a little funny.

He laces his fingers together and tries to look stern. “So. You wanna tell me what happened?”

“Really, Eggsy, we were on vacation.” Harry actually sounds offended, and Merlin snickers. It’s been nearly a decade since Merlin was Kingsman’s tech wizard, but Eggsy can’t call him anything but Merlin, in his head or otherwise. And considering the stunt they pulled in Greece, it’s clear Merlin hasn’t lost his edge. The security footage had been erased long before Eggsy had gotten the report, before even the most diligent of their new techs was able to scrub it from the system.

But Eggsy did see the footage. It’s not a sight that bears repeating.

At least they weren’t arrested this time.

He sighs. “Who wants to explain to me why Harry was running around Greece without trousers?”

Merlin refuses to hide his smile, even as Harry turns scarlet. Roxy has a running bet with Gawain about whether Eggsy’s hair will fall out like Merlin’s or go grey like Harry’s first. Either way, it will most certainly be their fault. “I was not _running around Greece_ ,” Harry protests. “There was a single, isolated incident.”

“An incident that prevented you from wearing pants?”

“I didn’t pack any!” Because Eggsy absolutely needs a reminder that his pseudo-father runs around commando more often than not. He resists the urge to face-palm.

The room goes silent for a minute. They’re not at the Kingsman complex; last time they met there, Merlin had camped out in the tech department, barking at the technicians like he still ran the place, and Harry had broken into the ongoing mission files. Instead, they’re at Harry and Merlin’s retirement cottage – although cottage in a mild word for a house this big with this much land around it – in the Scottish highlands. Eggsy had thought getting out of London would be good for them, away from old memories and the bustle of city life. Apparently not.

Finally, he says, “It’s been nine years. You haven’t worked for Kingsman in ages. Don’t you think it’s time to, I dunno, relax? You’re not exactly young anymore.”

The smile slips from Merlin’s face, and he looks away. Harry looks about to protest, and then glances at Merlin and quiets. Finally, Merlin says, “Easier said than done, lad.”

“I know, but _nine years_ , Merlin.”

“You have to understand, Eggsy,” Harry puts in. “We never expected to make it this long.”

“People in our line of work don’t exactly have long life expectancies.” Merlin swallows hard. He’s looking out the window, towards the hillside, and his brogue thickens when he speaks again. “Harry should have died in the field and I…well, if it wasn’t in the field, it would have been a heart attack eventually.”

“But that didn’t happen. You were the best. And you got out.”

“I’m not sure you ever really get out of something like this, lad. It gets into your bones.”

“Is that what Greece was? And Morocco, and Berlin, and every other time you’ve gotten caught and I’ve had to bail you out?” Eggsy leans forward. “You just, what, couldn’t help yourselves?”

“Yes!” Harry snaps. “And I’ll have you know-“

“Harry,” Merlin interrupts him. They exchange a look, and Harry deflates, slumping down in his chair and folding his arms. He’s never looked old to Eggsy, who can’t help but picture Harry in his prime, his hair still chestnut brown and with both eyes still fully functioning. Now he looks ancient, the lines of his face sagging into each other beneath his grey hair.

“Look,” Eggsy says. “You two were the best Kingsman ever had. But it’s over.”

“We know,” Merlin says. “It’s just hard to let go.”

“Then don’t.” They both look at him in surprise, and Eggsy plows on, “Kingsman’s always gonna be a part of you, just like you’ll always be a part of me. I’m your legacy; you trained me, made me the agent I am today. More than that, you’re like my parents.” He rests his hands on the table, and wonders if it’d be too sappy to reach across and try to hold their hands. “I dunno what I would have done without you.”

“Gone to prison,” Merlin remarks at the same time Harry says, “You would have been fine.” They give each other sharp looks, and Merlin’s eyebrows lift, communicating in that silent way of theirs they’ve had from the beginning. Harry is the one to continue, “The man you are now was always inside of you, Eggsy.”

“And without you, I might never have figured that out.” Now Eggsy really does reach for their hands. Harry takes his without hesitation; Merlin waits only a second before acquiescing. “I know it’s rough. But if you keep running around out there, sooner or later you’re not just going to be arrested. You could get hurt.”

“Stand down, that’s what you’re saying,” Merlin says.

“It’s what I’ve been saying. It’s what you need to hear.”

Sadie snuffles up against his leg, and Eggsy can’t help it. He laughs, breaking their grip so he can reach down and ruffle the Irish wolfhound’s fur. Harry and Merlin have amassed a small collection of dogs over the past few years. Sadie is the newest of the five, and she’s taken well to Eggsy, following him around demanding head scratches with huge, sad eyes every time he visits. At his touch, she rears up, half heaving herself into Eggsy’s lap and panting happily, and Merlin laughs. Harry cracks a smile.

“We’ll do our best, lad,” Merlin tells him. “To stand down. We’ll…pick up a hobby, or something.” Harry lights up, and Merlin points a sharp finger at him. “One that does not involve pinning bugs to corkboards and hanging them up around the house.”

Eggsy grins. “You could always take up knitting.”

Merlin snorts. “We’re old, but not that old.”

“I’ll have you know that knitting is a young man’s game, these days,” Eggsy teases. “Or maybe you’re just afraid to hold the needles in those claws of yours.” He mimes arthritic fingers, scratching at the table before Sadie demands more pets.

“Be glad I’m not your quartermaster anymore, or I’d having you running laps for that.” But Merlin doesn’t look offended. He’s still smiling.

“Look,” Harry says. “Greece really wasn’t as bad as it looked.”

“Oh yeah?” Eggsy challenges, eyebrows raised. He heaves Sadie off his lap with some regret – Harry and Merlin aren’t the only ones getting old – and she shuffles off to find the other dogs.

“Being nude was completely incidental.”

“Well, that part was on purpose,” Merlin chimes in. He looks smug. “Nude beaches,” he explains, “Greece is lovely this time of year.”

Eggsy grimaces. “Gonna need brain bleach for that image, thanks.”

“I noticed an old…shall we say, acquaintance,” Harry speaks over them, ignoring the admittedly immature faces they’re making at each other. “Arms dealer I remembered from when I was a much younger agent. We never did manage to catch him.”

“If this was years ago, how the hell did you know it was him?”

“Oh, it was him,” Harry confirms. “You don’t forget a cock like that.”

If Eggsy’d had a drink, he’d spit it out. As it is, he chokes on air. Merlin rolls his eyes. “Only Harry Hart would recognize an arms dealer on a nude beach by his cock.”

“I did an awful lot of honeypots back in those days, if you’ll recall.”

“Oh, I remember. Tart.”

“Oh, please. You know I always liked yours best.”

Eggsy gags. “So!” he says loudly. “Arms dealer?”

“Right. Well, I noticed him, and then he noticed me. I gave a bit of a chase, but he got away. Again. Dreadfully disappointing, to be frank.”

“I’ll take a look in our database, see if we can’t pin him down,” Eggsy promises. He jabs a finger at them both. “But you two are gonna leave it to us, understand? No more…cavorting naked through Greece.”

“We promise.”

“Take up knitting.”

Merlin flips him the bird, and he laughs again.

He sends them a couple files every so often, low-level things for them to research and consult on. They are still some of the best agents Kingsman ever had, after all.

For Christmas, they send him a misshapen – clearly homemade – green sweater with ‘fuck you’ in gorgeous looping letters on the front. Eggsy loves it.


End file.
